WINTER IS WARMEST
Winter is the warmest season,
Oh, you say you want a reason.
Is it warm when snow piles high and wide?
It is if you’re bundled up inside.
When it’s storming, when it’s raining,
I stay indoors without complaining.
Other people like to ski,
Or sled down a hill, but not me.
While you’re bundling up in your jacket,
I’m tearing open a hot cocoa packet.
I don’t mind summer, I’ll make that clear,
But winter’s my favorite time of the year.
WINTER IS MINE
Some people don’t like winter.
Some people think it’s too cold.
I think they just like to complain.
Or maybe they’re just too old.
I like bundling up.
In coats with boots on my feet
I like to see my breath fog up.
In the rain, or snow, or sleet.
I like to break off icicles.
And break them for a drink.
In the winter, the world goes quiet
I like to listen and think.
Some people don’t like winter.
I say they just don’t get it.
You might want sunshine all day
But I say you can forget it.
SIGNS YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY IS CHEAP
The exam room has a tip jar.
They use recycled bandages.
The 24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK.
Tongue depressors taste faintly like fudgesicles.
Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
Preprinted prescription pads say, “Walk it off, you sissy.”
Only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “An apple a day.”
Costly MRI equipment has been replaced by an oversized two-sided copier.
